The story behind ‘You are so loved’ - Children’s storybook

I am officially a published Author

Please note before reading: this post may be upsetting as it discusses miscarriage and grief.

One of the deepest moment of grief, that no one should have to experience, pulls you from your busy, complex life, and reveals life’s true fragility and simplistic nature [and reminds you that ‘life is not a dress rehearsal.’]

You suffer the insurmountable loss, you shed a million stinging tears for their life and yet your life continues

I created this story book after dreaming it. The words and images came to me while I slept and after I had woken up I sat down and wrote the book within the hour. I had just lost our baby, it was a little boy. This had been the closest we had gotten to that seemingly reclusive 12 week mark. I had already had 2 miscarriages that year before this pregnancy.

Our hearts were broken, shattered. I was a shell of a human. I could barely concentrate on normal daily tasks.

We had been told our baby had died from Triploidy. A rare condition that wouldn’t have allowed the baby to develop properly, and that is what had caused the miscarriage. We were told, it’s lucky it happened now and not later in your pregnancy. A week after losing our baby, one female doctor said to me, you would have needed an abortion anyway, it’s easier that it happened this way.

There will be people reading this, that know us well, and this story will be the first time they are hearing it. Everyday people are going through things we know nothing about and it’s important to remember this. Sometimes it’s too painful to say out loud, it’s too painful to share.

And sometimes they don’t speak about their pain from the fear of how others might cope with it, their responses can sometimes cause even more harm.

For 5 years I had held onto this book, sometimes I would remember I had it there and would read it to myself, especially after our rainbow baby Olivia was born and I could see how much our lives had changed, how much our hearts had healed.

My heart will certainly never be the same. You might have heard of this, each pregnancy a woman has, the dna from the baby transfers into her own body and stays with her, this is called microchimerism. My heart will forever be changed, because my body holds their memory inside of me, inside my heart and my mind.

This story is a book of hope and healed hearts, a family made complete with the arrival of their long awaited rainbow baby. I wrote it as a way of manifesting the life that our hearts needed.

And now with the help of Laura’s amazing book publishing course, it is a real life book! A storybook keepsake for every family who has ever held so much hope for a baby that it consumed their every thought.

My first children’s book ‘You Are So Loved’ is now available on our online store. I am beyond excited to finally share this with you all, it truly is a dream come true 💫

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this post, it means so much to me.